I have a very dangerous love, and that is a love of being pregnant.
If you don’t count the pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage we have been very blessed with two very healthy, happy pregnancies which I have LOVED! I really enjoy being pregnant, the last month can be a bit ucomfortable at times, and with my right hand man I may have looked like I was hiding a basketball under my t-shirt towards the end, but I can’t complain. It’s dangerous because I like to joke with my husband a lot about a third as I do love being pregnant.
Recently I have mentioned to a few people how we’ve always been absolutely fine about our son’s limb difference, and as I said in my first post it was positive reaction when we were first told. Talking about our early feelings has got me reflecting about how honest and true to myself I’m being when I’m being so positive as we all have doubts, worries and concerns, so I thought I’d write a post talking through some of our thoughts and findings during the pregnancy stages and what helped us.
Welcome to the world of my mind…
We honestly have always been fine with the news of his limb difference, I’ve always known he will live life just as well as everyone else and that it isn’t going to stop him doing and becoming what ever he would like. It was a message we repeated many times to people during our pregnancy. Part way through the pregnancy I started to doubt my complete confidence, started to wonder if there was something I was missing, was I being niave, was I being too positive? I’ve no idea what triggered this, I do have a tendency to prepare myself for many possibilities, and I like to research, in fact friends have joked throughout all my pregnancies that my children will come out the womb homework done and dissertation completed! It could be my desire to cover all angles that triggered it, or maybe it was having to repeat the message so many times to people who didn’t see it in such a positive way that I started to doubt? Either way it took me down a great path, in particular to two blogs.
The first one, bornjustright, took me to an article which straight away made me chuckle and got me excited about our future all in one go. The Perks of Having a Baby with One Hand brought so much joy and hope back into my life at a time I was wavering. Until this point I’d just found things that told me how I must be devastated about the news, I appreciate that is the common reaction, but it wasn’t ours, and it’s what lots of people around me were saying so I didn’t need to hear it from other online communities at the time. I needed to see the joy that we originally felt. I explored the bornjustright blog for ages after finding this post, and it was great, I would recommend spending some time to take a look around it, they are changing the world for the good this mum and daughter.
BornJustRight led me to another blog, an absolute legend of a guy who I find very funny. LivingOneHanded follows Ryan Haack who has a limb difference and he pretty much shows you that you can live life perfectly fine with one. He has lots of ‘how to’ videos, which aren’t ‘Here’s how you should do this task if you have a limb difference’ videos, they are simply how he does certain tasks videos. This leads me onto the next stage of my thoughts and mind wanderings before my son was born.
I started being curious about how the baby would complete certain tasks, I wondered whether I should arm myself with possible suggestions in case the baby experienced difficulties in figuring some things out. I knew the baby would be able to complete them, but I just couldn’t figure out how that would look. Enter Ryan Haack (not that he knew about his entrance in my life!) and his amazing how to videos. When I started questioning things like ‘How will baby cut up food?’; ‘How will they wear their wedding ring?’; ‘How will they drive?’ and ”How will they tie their show laces?’ I remembered Ryan’s blog and took a visit. It was a fantastic night, although I think I annoyed my husband who was doing some work from home that evening as I kept interrupting him to show him some of the videos. I learnt a very important lesson that night..don’t arm myself with suggestions, let the baby figure it out for themselves because they will. As I’ve mentioned, Ryan shows you his way of doing things, there are thousands of other ways and options. It was nice to see his way (here’s a link to the video of tying shoes) but I knew I had to let the baby find their way of doing it, figure out what works for them.
The early days, i.e the pregnancy, has challenged a lot of my traits and I’m now at the stage where I’m learning how to let go of preparing myself for all possibilities. I may not know how my son will do certain tasks but I do know he will be able to, his limb difference will not stop him. The ‘how’ is the exciting part of this journey of discovery that we’re on and as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I am very much looking forward to what’s ahead.