What do you buy the second child?
When I was expecting my right hand man I use to dread being questioned from those who wished to buy us a gift about what the baby would need. Simply because we had no idea, it made us feel a bit clueless and the closer it got to due date the more pressure we felt to think of something. Quite honestly, we would have been grateful for anything. We had so much left over from our daughter and we didn’t know whether we were expecting a boy or a girl so clothes weren’t worth asking for. For ages we had no idea what to suggest but eventually we put a very small wish list together and passed it round to those who were interested.
One of the items on the list was a wrist rattle set. I thought my right hand man would love it because he didn’t need to grip the rattles to make noises, we could simply strap them round his wrist and off he would go, making music with both arms.
Well has he enjoyed and appreciated this music enabling gift? No…he hasn’t. At least not how it was designed to be enjoyed, he doesn’t care about making music, he only cares about trying to eat it. He couldn’t care less about whether he can make a rattly noise with both arms, he is perfectly satisfied at present with his ability to grab one rattle at a time.
I was watching him try and devour one of these wrist rattles the other day and it amused me how much I thought it would help him, and how much it turned out not to be a need…not even a little bit. It’s making me realise that I can’t forward plan things he may need, as with any child there are going to be things he struggles with I thought he’d be okay with and things he’s absolutely fine with that I thought he’d find a challenge. I guess I’ve just got to wait and see, give him space to develop and tackle things as they arise. Which is tough as my instinct is to forward think and try and make sure difficulties don’t arise…that’s why I rarely leave the house without a bag of toys/activities, or some plasters, oooor some form of waterproof!! You know, just in case. I live in the north of England after all!!
He’ll be absolutely grand in life I know, it’s a big lesson for me in particular to learn to chill, and see what the situation is. I may still keep my Mary Poppins bottomless bag of goodies though, for those just in case moments. If you ever need a pair of chopsticks come to me, they’ll be in there!